In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Two words: blizzard sex
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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