i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
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