don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
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