That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
