Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just shotgunned beers for America
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize