am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
