ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
