Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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