I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I will be naked everywhere
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
