Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
i will never coherently bang her
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
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