i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize