Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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