Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
