this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
