i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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