good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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