I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
