is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
