walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
