I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
