NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize