I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
