you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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