i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
