cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
