im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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