and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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