Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize
