**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
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