Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
