i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
