I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Randomize
