it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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