I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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