Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
porn star boner night. come get it.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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