Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
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I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
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I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
They have beer where we have blood.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
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