So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
