what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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