my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I just googled if crying burns calories
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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