i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
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