Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
