Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
what day is it and did you see me today?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
