Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
