we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Alive.
So much puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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