I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize