We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
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