R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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