I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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