So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
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We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
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