we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
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