isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
