dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
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This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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