apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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