then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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