Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
