If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
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