I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
