meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Randomize
